I’ve heard it said that one shouldn’t get married to fill a void. This is supposed to be “unhealthy”. While there is a sense in which this is true, the statement is completely false in its literal meaning. We absolutely do and should get married to fill a void. Let me explain what I mean. Many of us have two voids in life: a God-shaped void and a spouse-shaped one. Everyone has the God void. We were created for God’s glory. Many of us have the spouse void. God designed men and women to be different and to complete one another emotionally, behaviorally, and even physically—we literally fit together like puzzle pieces! Many but not all yearn for such a companion. Men and women, contrary to what culture might say, like each other quite a lot.
The problem is not void filling but filling the wrong void, namely trying to fill the God void with a spouse instead of God. When someone does this, his spouse becomes God for him, his ultimate source of meaning and value. No mere human can fill this role. Men and women should get married for a number of reasons including emotional and sexual fulfillment and help in submitting to God’s guidance and plan in this life. Many of us experience a spouse void because of God’s design plan, and those who do should seek to fill it.
If one accepts all this, it becomes clear that the statement, “One shouldn’t get married to fill a void” is literally false. It’s okay if what one really means by it is, “One shouldn’t try to fill the God-shaped void in his life with a spouse”. But if that’s what we really mean, we should just say that.
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